Bob is...well...ummm...you know

*Warning to reader: This post is of entirely unwarranted length and may cause you to doubt the sanity of the author even more than you did before, if that is possible. Peruse at your own risk.

At first I reckoned I should begin the inaugural post like so: “Welcome one, welcome all to the überlong-awaited tertiary element in the set of all (known) quote blogs beginning with the phrase ‘Bob is.’” However, I then remembered the following warning given by C.S. Lewis: “Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say ‘infinitely’ when you mean ‘very’: otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.” As I’m 110% percent absolutely positive literally everyone who knows me can attest, I judiciously follow his advice at all times in my everyday discourse, and figured I should maintain the same rules of verbal propriety whilst (yay Anglicisms!) blogging. I firmly believe that the overuse of superlatives (even Germanic ones) is by far the most appalling testament one can possibly find to the utter slovenliness of modern language, and I cannot even begin to express the inestimably profound regret that would have invariably consumed me in my entirety had I in fact contributed to this horrific-to-the-nth-power-as-n→tragedy of epic elephantine proportions. Well…*awkward pause*… kind of I guess…maybe I could be wrong…actually now that I think about it I’m not so sure (haha :) ). Well anyhow, ummm...OK...yeah...cool. Did I mention I also hate rampant overuse of the ellipsis? Just look around the blog and you will agree.

I know what you’re thinking right about now, and yes my friend, you’ve guessed it: I am hopelessly awkward (and, to the high-brows among you, more than a little gauche). However, if you look deep inside, you too will find that there is a little awkward guy that wants to be an eighty-year-old gray-haired Puritan gangsta rapper inside all of us. This blog, along with its Pretty and Witty fellows, exists for those precious moments when that self bubbles past the surface of your dignified Stanfordite veneer (and you are unfortunate enough to be in our presence). It is a place where your embarrassing moments and misspeaks can finally be recorded in a public forum which everyone from David Scudder’s grandfather to a random guy in Botswana can see. Beware, all ye who are funny! Now that there are three blogs, you can be sure that somebody is definitely going to blog what you say...and it may not be pretty…or even witty.

Seeing as how I am out of lame jokes, and you, kind reader, are probably out of your wits (join the club!), I will leave you with a parting ditty...Bob’s so pretty, oh so pretty, so pretty and witty and …well…umm…you know how it ends. Cheerio chaps (and chapettes)!